More than 10 years ago, I heard two words that stopped my world. Multiple sclerosis.
In an instant, my plans and dreams were called into question. I was afraid I would lose everything I loved and stop being myself.
Multiple sclerosis is an incurable neurological disease that in severe cases leads to complete paralysis, and even death.
My battle with the disease is a story of fear and pain, but also of discoveries. About what this path taught me about the power of the human spirit.
There were days when the pain and fatigue seemed unbearable. That's when I first had to seriously face topics like my own disability, or even death.
My condition was gradually getting worse. I had days when I could no longer hide the disease, as I dragged my legs and started to limp.
During one of the relapses, I had terrible headaches. The feeling was as if someone was driving a nail into my head. I remember the feeling of panic and hopelessness when I realized that nothing really helped with such pain.
During another relapse, I had partially paralyzed vocal cords. My voice was very weak and hoarse. Those were very difficult weeks.
Experimental therapy
I was extremely fortunate to be diagnosed in London, where experimental therapy offered hope.
I remember signing consent for treatment where red letters warned about the risk of death from taking the drug.
In some sense, I was ready for it, but at the same time I had strength and courage within me.
I was ready to take the risk to give myself a chance.
Discovering inner strength
Besides medicine, I also looked for other ways to help myself - not only physically, but also mentally.
I remember a moment when the situation seemed hopeless and I didn't have the strength to fight anymore.
I turned to meditation. It was then that I discovered that "I am not my thoughts". In silence, I asked myself: Is there a place in me that doesn't feel fatigue? To my surprise, such a place existed. It became a source of enormous strength for me.
From today's perspective, I know that I discovered something within myself that in IFS therapy is called Self - our true I.
Today, my mission is to help others discover this inner strength. I believe that each of us carries within ourselves this source of power - we just need to find it.
New paths, new life
Books by Gabor Maté and Peter Levine were breakthrough for me - their reflections on the impact of psyche on the development of autoimmune diseases opened new paths for me.
I am convinced that it is precisely thanks to the inner transformation I went through that the disease still remains in remission, despite the fact that more than a decade has passed since the experimental therapy.
My experience taught me how important it is to listen to your body and take care of yourself on every level - physical, psychological, and spiritual.
Today, the only reminder of the disease is annual check-ups. Otherwise, I can enjoy life where I can forget about the disease.
If you're struggling with illness, crisis, or simply want to better understand yourself, I invite you to join me on this journey.
Remember that it's never too late to change. Together, we can make your story, like mine, take on new meaning.
As a therapist, I can help you discover your inner resources, find the peace and strength that lie dormant within you.
If you're ready to begin your journey toward change, book a free consultation.